Surrealistic reality

‘ …there you see a wide dark room, dimly lit and no sign of any ventillation. Grotesque images flashing before your hazy eyes, You feel a twinge… And now the things which were apprarent a second ago, seem to shift in phase, each phase instilling a perplexing revulsion, a repugnant feeling scaling deep into your heart. When you look around, you find yourself standing at the branching of what seems to be a maze with various paths, each one leading to a much more mysteriously horrific sight. Its dark… and your eyes could just scale few feets ahead in space and what lies ahead….is a disturbing suspense. You feel restless but yet you cannot escape the labyrinth. There is just one thing left for you to do – Run.                  At the end of each maze, you encounter two closed doors and how you wish you could just escape through the choice you make. At every step you find no escape…. but only another void of a perplexing maze. You are just running towards an abyss, an abyss of horror, deep dark horror confounded with an impasse.  All you hear is an ominous sound of darkness…. deep, hollow and horrifying. You search for an exit, but there is none. You don’t remember how you got there, You don’t know where you are. But now…

you are just driven by an impulse of escapism, a mental desire to breath, an instigation to come out of this un-ending ramifications of mystery. Pure…reflex.’

Past Crossroads

Something’s terribly wrong with my life. Presumably a rather rhetorical question every individual poses to himself when he reaches a pregnant stagnated age…22-26 or more; where his personality shifts farther from his gimmical teens and yet he remains distant from the aura of wisdom and poise. This is the time in almost everyone’s life where we get involved into a ‘making a living’ process and leave ‘making a life’ dreams to percolate into the past; where we choose that ONE among the many options we had in our recent past which lands us up here where we are. Life seems so monotonic now once we realize how conveniently we became a small, insignificant part of the huge bureaucracy, a system which was a mundane subject of our criticism in our magical days where we felt we deserved different. We feel helpless, stagnant and particularly small in spite of the fact that the life which we have right now is what we, ourselves have chosen. A feeling of remorse creeps up everyday where we despise at our choice and ask ‘what if I were there?’
But there is no ‘there’. The greener grass at the other end is yet another illusion to sensationalize your dreams…a beautiful aversion to gravitate your remorse. The fact rests on the surface of your melancholy which we always want to subjugate.
There will not be an ending to this pain least we ourselves accept the ground reality….and also accept the fact that the world hasn’t stopped yet… There’s yet more to come, yet more to witness and yet many more options just waiting for the right time to strike. And yet again we involve ourselves in that process where we again begin to anticipate, begin to dream… Till then, the grass is still greener on the other side.

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A Big delusion

Deserving or fortunate, planned or coincidence.. The end results of our endeavors are always labeled with these attributes. And why not?? We belong to that era of social environment where everyone wants better than before, and everyone works relentlessly for that…or at least dream of that. But Life has long evolved from that dogmatized single line of code where everytime the path of success is led only via hardwork. We grow up and realize that all this is a big blasphemy. Now, we see different opportunities at every step; always a duo of options which everyone considers one to be ‘right’ and the other one as ‘wrong’. Now what amount of hardwork will help you pick up the “right” option??

We are all driven by a series of planned strategies. But those strategies are not ours. We fall in line with another evolved form of  code where someone else has planned, someone else has worked hard. We all form a part of the system, where your social network, your education, your ‘hardwork’ is given a surrealistic admiration just to make you fall in line of that strategy.  And how you land up there by yourself, remains a subject of chance. The options we are given, are the objects of delusion.  And yet we remain focussed on connecting our achievements with our endeavors.

 

NEGATIVITY

So here i am again, my fingers feeling reluctant on the keyboard as i force them to press on it. Long time passed, no posts from my side as if i was done with all the crappy gyan darshan and there was nothing more i can probably share. No.. This is not the case. This just goes on to prove what a normal human i am. Hold on people this is gonna be big. If you dun wanna go through it, stop reading it.

After so many months of fatigue, I felt myself new to blogging again. And probably, this was the reason i always thought a 100 times before writing anything new, and then finally never did. This is the thing that happens to almost every human being, natural or ‘super’natural [and i, unlike batman or joker, fall into the natural category]. Nobody can really tell you for sure what really happens to the entire mechanical system of a person when he thinks of commencing anything new, anything his thought process or work mechanism was alien to. And even though you have a strong motivation within you, almost all the time, those li’l chromosomes of negativity floods your blood stream and refrain you from doing it.

You are always content with your ‘regularities’ of job, or ‘routine’ fun, but you are always on your nerves with irregularities. Are we scared of failures? No. We are not scared of failure, but we have a paranoia of ‘unexpectedness’. We are afraid of anything that seems to be alien to our thought process, and quite smoothly, we blame it on the person or thing that caused us to face that ‘traumatic’ unexpectation. These are the negative thoughts in our minds friends, and this negativity most of the times, wins a race with motivation to human content. No body is afraid of death just because death is balck or dark. We are afraid of death only because we dont know what it is like. the negativity that creeps our minds poses you with many irrational questions that are not even ought to be thought. 

So next time, when you are thinking of doing something new, just go for it without accentuating on the cons. And if anything wrong happens even then, your negativity is to be blamed.

STATIC PERIOD

To start with, Im very sorry to all the people who ve been waiting for my next post [ even though the number might be big enough to be counted as TWO or THREE...... but still it feels good to refer 'all the people'...a matter of self judicial appraisal ]. To be honest [firstly, with myself], there wasn’t a thing i was doing all these days. you can guess that by seeing that there wasn’t a single post from me from the past hundred years [thats what proffesional bloggers feel for 3 months when they are in a habit of updating themselves almost every hour]. My blog hits dropped to zero [ only b'coz there is no negative Y-axis ], one of my friend even tried to give lame comments on ‘once upon a time’ read post of mine out of no interest which only helped me realise that i shouldn’t be happy for a new one hit on my blog.

In short, my contemporary blog is just the reflective phase of a life I am living right now, Without any meaning. I m bending my own rule of not writing any post on my personal weird behavior, coz at this time, there is not a thing which can be discussed [according to me]. I dont wanna talk about the ongoing market crisis, or the strategic plan of action of Obama or whats happening in XYZ’s life Without peeping into my own. I have just a year and a half to enter into a world of utter proffesionalism, where ‘successful life’  no longer remains a catchphrase, it is the necessity of 6 billion odd population. But what extra do i have to prove my mettle just after an year?? Whats special have i done among the lot?? Nothing. I am even blogging like almost everyone of my genre..

Double Decade

Seriously people, there is no limit for stupidity in the world. the moment u figure out any gurl/guy and wonder, could he/she be the dumbest person on the planet??? and Boom… u get to see another with dumbness unsurpassed. so, lets stop worrying about them. there are many more dumb people to worry about them. Now, coming to the point, you might be wondering, what in the world does the title “double decade” indicate?? come on folks, why do you always try to figure out a meaning in the title? just tell me, what was the role of an ancient secret society “alchemist” who tried to make gold out of ordinary elements, played in the paulo coelho’s fiction novel “The Alchemist” ?? See.. you shouldn’t be applying your overrated logic everywhere.. there are some titles which dont have any meaning in them.. but yes, the title “double decade” got a very deeep meaning hidden in itself… and the logic is…. TanTadaaaa… I am gonna turn 20 this month, and i have completed two decades of my life.. phew.. that was tough..;)

Yes, i have seen it all. i have been there during both the iraq wars, witnessed WTC attack [not literally though], have seen many unfulfilled prophecies of nostradamus go true, have seen india celebrating 50 years of fruitless independance and many more. And it did make me exclaim, “Man!!! what a life”.

So, talking about life, every person in this world learns. we learn many thing from our experiences [and a very li'l from our text books]. even i did learn quite a few things.. ahem.. no..actually many things. and i decided one fine day, why not formulate all my gyaan into a book.

so i started writing articles in my book, and here i present 12 of my many observations in the past 2 decades. But, before presenting my articles, i would like to mention that all the following observations and one liners are true to my own experiences, and any resemblance with any other person’s experiences shouldn’e be seen as a surprise. So, here i go:

Article 73: Love shows you heaven, and even in heaven, we just tend to see the forbidden fruit.

Article 54: If you know 956 odd people, the 957th person you meet will be different. If he resembles any of those 956 people, then he for sure is pretending.

Article 07: You start with excitement, continue as a formality, and end with dissappointment.

Article 65: Failure is the stepping stone of success, success is the foundation stone to over confidence.

Article 97 [corollary article 07]:  The final result of your plan is inversely proportional to your initial expectations.

Article 39: Science has answers to almost all the questions in the world, except for all the “Why’s”

Article 55: (mis)interpretation of Murphy’s first law that “if anything can go wrong, it will” is that- Diesel can never be expensive than petrol. but it will, when YOU buy a diesel car.

Article 13: Where logic prevails, emotions become Black holes. They suck up your entire logic.

Article 47: No train in India can be 5 minutes early. It can only be 23 hours 55 minutes late.

Article 01: You always say, “This is the last time” approximately once in every 15 days.

Article 88: 90% of the factual statements in the world are concocted, fabricated or manipulated. So is This one. 

Article 33: There were supposed to be 12 observations of mine, but there are just 11. So, here goes the 12th.

 

The article numbers alloted to each observation of mine is purely a work of fiction and it doesn’t mean that i have hundreds of observations in my book…… Actually, there is no such book. :p

DESPERATION

Going back to the times when we were pretty much young and had no insight etal into the outside world, we had a completely different mentality altogether. you might call it your stupidity, or childishness, or vulnerabilty to get prone to every other thing that facinated you, or any other thing, but yes, the fact is, we evolve. we evolve drastically by the time you turn 18 or so and then everything changes. for instance, the very first fantasy of possessing a bike or a mobile phone when you were 15 or 16 made you feel like a king of the entire city, an ultimate way of seducing every hot girl on the planet, made you feel independant. then later, it becomes an everyday part of your life, later it cuts down to your necessity.

This logic can be applied to every damn thing in the world, but one. Yes, theres always a but in everything. the place where we never evolve, or to be more crude, we never grow up….is our desperation to fall in love. every guy or a girl from the time they enter their carnal age, never stop thinking or dreaming of falling in love or being loved. in the beginning, it starts as a fantasy just to talk to a guy/girl, then your fantasy scales new heights and now you just want to be with him/her, then later you want to be loved. But why??? why is it so important for a person to have an emotional support of another person who him/herself is going through the same phase? One of the major reasons might be attributed to the new trend of movies which showcases romance in a completely new light, but forget it, i dont wanna talk like your dad now.

The reason is, you are so fickle minded at this age that you presume that just by having a girlfriend, i can be more confident, i will have something to flaunt, it’ll make me look cool as others. and for others, it might give them an emotional or mental support which none of their friends or parents ever gave him in their entire life. and for most of the others, they just wanna get laid. Yes, bet me. There are just these three reasons. and i also bet you, most of the couples who are in “love” might not completely agree to me. They will for sure give me dozens of other explanations which might be strong enough to satisfy themselves diplomatically but not others.

But believe me, if you want to get over this so called emotional fantasy, all you have to do is think, indulge and evolve in other aspects of life which are equally interesting if you have that insight. your work, your future, and most importantly, your friends and family; these are the real things and people in the world which will always be with you. I am not saying that loving someone or indulging in some sort of flings and affairs is wrong. actually it sounds pretty interesting. . I may not be mature enough to spread gyan darshan about this very topic. Even i belong to your age group. Even i do feel the same things what you people feel. But all i wanna say is: come on folks….There are better things in life. like better girls

Why am I doing this?

First things first.. why am i doing this?? i mean, i know, there are thousands or millions of blogs, being scribbled almost everyday on the same lines and quite a few readers actually, but still, i woke up this morning, and the first thought that creeped into my mind was to start up a blog of my own. This thing is happening to almost every cyber addict these days. and after a fuss being made and spread by the media and critics of numerous top notch bollywood personalities about their blogs, more and more people are craving about starting up their own blog [and i am no exception]. This brings out in front of us one of the major dogmatized charachteristics of the entertainment audience. ‘Craving for fame or any sort of recognition, no matter how’. To be more precise, people dont blog to freak out or to share their experiences nowadays, they blog to see how many hits they get everyday, or how many people have visited their blog of late, which gives them a sort of feeling of recognition amongst one of the most intelligent crowds. The phrase ‘intelligent crowd’ is a relative phrase. atleast we [yes, even now i blog] are doing something different from the rest who have indulged themselves into dozens of ‘social networking sites’, online dating and surfing porn [which indeed sounds pretty interesting ]. So yes, we are all hungry for recognition. and what can be more delightful than posting all the stuff that comes in your mind into a free space and then just watch how many people’s mindset actually sync with your random thoughts.

What next??

Finally, i have started a blog of my own. Now, the next obvious question. “what should i post in it?”. I don’t buy into the myth of writing down what most of the people do or think or suffer. To be point blank, i wanna post all that stuff which majority of the blogging audience would love to read nowadays, and slip my thoughts in it. So i started doing my homework. What in the world do most of the people read nowadays? specifically, our interests change almost everyday. today, if the news of Indo-US nuclear deal might excite you, tomorrow saif-kareena love affair might find a place in your thoughts. God knows why anyone would even think of sneaking into other’s personal things, but BINGO, i got something to post. and you are right, the thing which fascinates almost everyone the most is a peek in other’s lives. Which made me wonder for its reason. and according to me [i am making myself very clear, its my opinion], the major reason is, Self Diplomatic Satisfaction. We see the tragic happenings in others’ lives and we correlate our problems with theirs’. you might hardly come across a blog in which the blogger only writes down his/her happy moments.
Majority of the blogging crowd comprises of those people who are either trying to find some meaning in their lives, or who are finding themselves. That is one of the reasons why books like ‘How to win friends and influence people’ or ‘How to be happy’ or ‘How to be successful in 30 days’ sell like hot cakes in today’s market. Even writing down these books is illogical, forget about reading. Its common sense. If Bill Gates followed certain tactics and made himself into a billionaire doesn’t really mean that the same tactics apply to everyone. With that logic, everyone should have been a billionare. but when emotions prevail, logic becomes an alien.
Coming back to point. Yes, we search our own self everyday. thats why blogs work. we are still in a process of making our lives, formulating certain principles of living almost everyday, understanding our own mindset which is so vibrant and unstable. Thats the reason why you laugh at the post you yourself made at the very beginning of your blog. Which exactly even i may go through an year later or so.